這是前些日子爆出已經被加拿大法院接理對藏傳佛教噶舉派法王的訟訴。(加拿大法院鏈接在此:https://www.bccourts.ca/jdb-txt/sc/21/09/2021BCSC0939cor1.htm?fbclid=IwAR2FLZlzmUIGTBaTuKPVchEqqngcE3Qy6G_C0TWNWVKa2ksbIYkVJVMQ8f8)
這位法王的桃色事件,我是幾年前才聽到。但,藏傳佛教的高層有這些性醜聞,我已經聽了幾十年。我以前的一位前女友也被一些堪布藉故上她的家摟抱過,也有一些活佛跟她表白。(這不只是她,其他地方我也聽過不少)
這是一個藏傳佛教裡面系統式的問題。
很多時候發生這種事情,信徒和教主往往都是說女方得不到寵而報仇,或者說她們也精神病,或者說她們撒謊。
我不排除有這種可能性,但,多過一位,甚至多位出來指證的時候,我是傾向於相信『沒有那麼巧這麼多有精神病的女人要撒謊來報仇』。
大寶法王的桃色事件,最先吹哨的是一位台灣的在家信徒,第二位是香港的女出家人,現在加拿大又多一位公開舉報上法庭。
對大寶法王信徒來說,這一次的比較麻煩,因為是有孩子的。(關於有孩子的,我早在法王的桃色事件曝光時,就有聽聞)
如果法庭勒令要驗證DNA,這對法王和他的信徒來說,會很尷尬和矛盾,因為做或不做,都死。
你若問我,我覺得『人數是有力量的』,同時我也覺得之後有更多的人站出來,是不出奇的。
我也藉此呼籲各方佛教徒,如果你們真的愛佛教,先別說批判,但如鴕鳥般不討論這些爭議,你是間接害了佛教。
(下面是我從加拿大法院鏈接拷貝下來的內容,當中有很多細節。)
Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION
BACKGROUND
ANALYSIS
A. The Spousal Support Claim in this Case
B. The Test to Amend Pleadings
C. Pleadings in Family Law Cases
D. The Legal Concept of a Marriage-Like Relationship
E. Is There a Reasonable Claim of a Marriage-Like Relationship?
F. Delay / Prejudice
CONCLUSION
INTRODUCTION
[1] The claimant applies to amend her notice of family claim to seek spousal support. At issue is whether the claimant’s allegations give rise to a reasonable claim she lived with the respondent in a marriage-like relationship, so as to give rise to a potential entitlement to spousal support under the Family Law Act, S.B.C. 2011, c. 25 (“FLA”).
[2] The facts alleged by the claimant do not fit within a traditional concept of marriage. The claimant does not allege that she and the respondent ever lived together. Indeed, she has only met the respondent in person four times: twice very briefly in a public setting; a third time in private, when she alleges the respondent sexually assaulted her; and a fourth and final occasion, when she informed the respondent she was pregnant with his child.
[3] The claimant’s case is that what began as a non-consensual sexual encounter evolved into a loving and affectionate relationship. That relationship occurred almost entirely over private text messages. The parties rarely spoke on the telephone, and never saw one another during the relationship, even over video. The claimant says they could not be together because the respondent is forbidden by his station and religious beliefs from intimate relationships or marriage. Nonetheless, she alleges, they formed a marriage-like relationship that lasted from January 2018 to January 2019.
[4] The respondent denies any romantic relationship with the claimant. While he acknowledges providing emotional and financial support to the claimant, he says it was for the benefit of the child the claimant told him was his daughter.
[5] The claimant’s proposed amendment raises a novel question: can a secret relationship that began on-line and never moved into the physical world be like a marriage? In my view, that question should be answered by a trial judge after hearing all of the evidence. The alleged facts give rise to a reasonable claim the claimant lived with the respondent in a marriage-like relationship. Accordingly, I grant the claimant leave to amend her notice of family claim.
BACKGROUND
[6] It should be emphasized that this is an application to amend pleadings only. The allegations by the claimant are presumed to be true for the purposes of this application. Those allegations have not been tested in a court of law.
[7] The respondent, Ogyen Trinley Dorje, is a high lama of the Karma Kagyu School of Tibetan Buddhism. He has been recognized and enthroned as His Holiness, the 17th Gyalwang Karmapa. Without meaning any disrespect, I will refer to him as Mr. Dorje in these reasons for judgment.
[8] Mr. Dorje leads a monastic and nomadic lifestyle. His true home is Tibet, but he currently resides in India. He receives followers from around the world at the Gyuto Monetary in India. He also travels the world teaching Tibetan Buddhist Dharma and hosting pujas, ceremonies at which Buddhists express their gratitude and devotion to the Buddha.
[9] The claimant, Vikki Hui Xin Han, is a former nun of Tibetan Buddhism. Ms. Han first encountered Mr. Dorje briefly at a large puja in 2014. The experience of the puja convinced Ms. Han she wanted to become a Buddhist nun. She met briefly with Mr. Dorje, in accordance with Kagyu traditions, to obtain his approval to become a nun.
[10] In October 2016, Ms. Han began a three-year, three-month meditation retreat at a monastery in New York State. Her objective was to learn the practices and teachings of the Kagyu Lineage. Mr. Dorje was present at the retreat twice during the time Ms. Han was at the monastery.
[11] Ms. Han alleges that on October 14, 2017, Mr. Dorje sexually assaulted her in her room at the monastery. She alleges that she became pregnant from the assault.
[12] After she learned that she was pregnant, Ms. Han requested a private audience with Mr. Dorje. In November 2017, in the presence of his bodyguards, Ms. Han informed Mr. Dorje she was pregnant with his child. Mr. Dorje initially denied responsibility; however, he provided Ms. Han with his email address and a cellphone number, and, according to Ms. Han, said he would “prepare some money” for her.
[13] Ms. Han abandoned her plan to become a nun, left the retreat and returned to Canada. She never saw Mr. Dorje again.
[14] After Ms. Han returned to Canada, she and Mr. Dorje began a regular communication over an instant messaging app called Line. They also exchanged emails and occasionally spoke on the telephone.
[15] The parties appear to have expressed care and affection for one another in these communications. I say “appear to” because it is difficult to fully understand the meaning and intentions of another person from brief text messages, especially those originally written in a different language. The parties wrote in a private shorthand, sharing jokes, emojis, cartoon portraits and “hugs” or “kisses”. Ms. Han was the more expressive of the two, writing more frequently and in longer messages. Mr. Dorje generally participated in response to questions or prompting from Ms. Han, sometimes in single word messages.
[16] Ms. Han deposes that she believed Mr. Dorje was in love with her and that, by January 2018, she and Mr. Dorje were living in a “conjugal relationship”.
[17] During their communications, Ms. Han expressed concern that her child would be “illegitimate”. She appears to have asked Mr. Dorje to marry her, and he appears to have responded that he was “not ready”.
[18] Throughout 2018, Mr. Dorje transferred funds in various denominations to Ms. Han through various third parties. Ms. Han deposes that these funds were:
a) $50,000 CDN to deliver the child and for postpartum care she was to receive at a facility in Seattle;
b) $300,000 CDN for the first year of the child’s life;
c) $20,000 USD for a wedding ring, because Ms. Han wrote “Even if we cannot get married, you must buy me a wedding ring”;
d) $400,000 USD to purchase a home for the mother and child.
[19] On June 19, 2018, Ms. Han gave birth to a daughter in Richmond, B.C.
[20] On September 17, 2018, Mr. Dorje wrote, ”Taking care of her and you are my duty for life”.
[21] Ms. Han’s expectation was that the parties would live together in the future. She says they planned to live together. Those plans evolved over time. Initially they involved purchasing a property in Toronto, so that Mr. Dorje could visit when he was in New York. They also discussed purchasing property in Calgary or renting a home in Vancouver for that purpose. Ms. Han eventually purchased a condominium in Richmond using funds provided by Mr. Dorje.
[22] Ms. Han deposes that the parties made plans for Mr. Dorje to visit her and meet the child in Richmond. In October 2018, however, Mr. Dorje wrote that he needed to “disappear” to Europe. He wrote:
I will definitely find a way to meet her
And you
Remember to take care of yourself if something happens
[23] The final plan the parties discussed, according to Ms. Han, was that Mr. Dorje would sponsor Ms. Han and the child to immigrate to the United States and live at the Kagyu retreat centre in New York State.
[24] In January 2019, Ms. Han lost contact with Mr. Dorje.
[25] Ms. Han commenced this family law case on July 17, 2019, seeking child support, a declaration of parentage and a parentage test. She did not seek spousal support.
[26] Ms. Han first proposed a claim for spousal support in October 2020 after a change in her counsel. Following an exchange of correspondence concerning an application for leave to amend the notice of family claim, Ms. Han’s counsel wrote that Ms. Han would not be advancing a spousal support claim. On March 16, 2020, counsel reversed course, and advised that Ms. Han had instructed him to proceed with the application.
[27] When this application came on before me, the trial was set to commence on June 7, 2021. The parties were still in the process of discoveries and obtaining translations for hundreds of pages of documents in Chinese characters.
[28] At a trial management conference on May 6, 2021, noting the parties were not ready to proceed, Madam Justice Walkem adjourned the trial to April 11, 2022.
ANALYSIS
A. The Spousal Support Claim in this Case
[29] To claim spousal support in this case, Ms. Han must plead that she lived with Mr. Dorje in a marriage-like relationship. This is because only “spouses” are entitled to spousal support, and s. 3 of the Family Law Act defines a spouse as a person who is married or has lived with another person in a marriage-like relationship:
3 (1) A person is a spouse for the purposes of this Act if the person
(a) is married to another person, or
(b) has lived with another person in a marriage-like relationship, and
(i) has done so for a continuous period of at least 2 years, or
(ii) except in Parts 5 [Property Division] and 6 [Pension Division], has a child with the other person.
[30] Because she alleges she has a child with Mr. Dorje, Ms. Han need not allege that the relationship endured for a continuous period of two years to claim spousal support; but she must allege that she lived in a marriage-like relationship with him at some point in time. Accordingly, she must amend the notice of family claim.
B. The Test to Amend Pleadings
[31] Given that the notice of trial has been served, Ms. Han requires leave of the court to amend the notice of family claim: Supreme Court Family Rule 8-1(1)(b)(i).
[32] A person seeking to amend a notice of family claim must show that there is a reasonable cause of action. This is a low threshold. What the applicant needs to establish is that, if the facts pleaded are proven at trial, they would support a reasonable claim. The applicant’s allegations of fact are assumed to be true for the purposes of this analysis. Cantelon v. Wall, 2015 BCSC 813, at para. 7-8.
[33] The applicant’s delay, the reasons for the delay, and the prejudice to the responding party are also relevant factors. The ultimate consideration is whether it would be just and convenient to allow the amendment. Cantelon, at para. 6, citing Teal Cedar Products Ltd. v. Dale Intermediaries Ltd. et al (1986), 19 B.C.L.R. (3d) 282.
C. Pleadings in Family Law Cases
[34] Supreme Court Family Rules 3-1(1) and 4-1(1) require that a claim to spousal support be pleaded in a notice of family claim in Form F3. Section 2 of Form F3, “Spousal relationship history”, requires a spousal support claimant to check the boxes that apply to them, according to whether they are or have been married or are or have been in a marriage-like relationship. Where a claimant alleges a marriage-like relationship, Form F3 requires that they provide the date on which they began to live together with the respondent in a marriage-like relationship and, where applicable, the date on which they separated. Form F3 does not require a statement of the factual basis for the claim of spousal support.
[35] In this case, Ms. Han seeks to amend the notice of family claim to allege that she and Mr. Dorje began to live in a marriage-like relationship in or around January 2018, and separated in or around January 2019.
[36] An allegation that a person lived with a claimant in a marriage-like relationship is a conclusion of law, not an allegation of fact. Unlike the rules governing pleadings in civil actions, however, the Supreme Court Family Rules do not expressly require family law claimants to plead the material facts in support of conclusions of law.
[37] In other words, there is no express requirement in the Supreme Court Family Rules that Ms. Han plead the facts on which she relies for the allegation she and Mr. Dorje lived in a marriage-like relationship.
[38] Rule 4-6 authorizes a party to demand particulars, and then apply to the court for an order for further and better particulars, of a matter stated in a pleading. However, unless and until she is granted leave and files the proposed amended notice of family claim, Ms. Han’s allegation of a marriage-like relationship is not a matter stated in a pleading.
[39] Ms. Han filed an affidavit in support of her application to amend the notice of family claim. Normally, evidence would not be required or admissible on an application to amend a pleading. However, in the unusual circumstances of this case, the parties agreed I may look to Ms. Han’s affidavit and exhibits for the facts she pleads in support of the allegation of a marriage-like relationship.
[40] Because this is an application to amend - and Ms. Han’s allegations of fact are presumed to be true - I have not considered Mr. Dorje’s responding affidavit.
[41] Relying on affidavit evidence for an application to amend pleadings is less than ideal. It tends to merge and confuse the material facts with the evidence that would be relied on to prove those facts. In a number of places in her affidavit, for example, Ms. Han describes her feelings, impressions and understandings. A person’s hopes and intentions are not normally material facts unless they are mutual or reasonably held. The facts on which Ms. Han alleges she and Mr. Dorje formed a marriage-like relationship are more important for the present purposes than her belief they entered into a conjugal union.
[42] Somewhat unusually, in this case, almost all of the parties’ relevant communications were in writing. This makes it somewhat easier to separate the facts from the evidence; however, as stated above, it is difficult to understand the intentions and actions of a person from brief text messages.
[43] In my view, it would be a good practice for applicants who seek to amend their pleadings in family law cases to provide opposing counsel and the court with a schedule of the material facts on which they rely for the proposed amendment.
D. The Legal Concept of a Marriage-Like Relationship
[44] As Mr. Justice Myers observed in Mother 1 v. Solus Trust Company, 2019 BCSC 200, the concept of a marriage-like relationship is elastic and difficult to define. This elasticity is illustrated by the following passage from Yakiwchuk v. Oaks, 2003 SKQB 124, quoted by Myers J. at para. 133 of Mother 1:
[10] Spousal relationships are many and varied. Individuals in spousal relationships, whether they are married or not, structure their relationships differently. In some relationships there is a complete blending of finances and property - in others, spouses keep their property and finances totally separate and in still others one spouse may totally control those aspects of the relationship with the other spouse having little or no knowledge or input. For some couples, sexual relations are very important - for others, that aspect may take a back seat to companionship. Some spouses do not share the same bed. There may be a variety of reasons for this such as health or personal choice. Some people are affectionate and demonstrative. They show their feelings for their “spouse” by holding hands, touching and kissing in public. Other individuals are not demonstrative and do not engage in public displays of affection. Some “spouses” do everything together - others do nothing together. Some “spouses” vacation together and some spend their holidays apart. Some “spouses” have children - others do not. It is this variation in the way human beings structure their relationships that make the determination of when a “spousal relationship” exists difficult to determine. With married couples, the relationship is easy to establish. The marriage ceremony is a public declaration of their commitment and intent. Relationships outside marriage are much more difficult to ascertain. Rarely is there any type of “public” declaration of intent. Often people begin cohabiting with little forethought or planning. Their motivation is often nothing more than wanting to “be together”. Some individuals have chosen to enter relationships outside marriage because they did not want the legal obligations imposed by that status. Some individuals have simply given no thought as to how their relationship would operate. Often the date when the cohabitation actually began is blurred because people “ease into” situations, spending more and more time together. Agreements between people verifying when their relationship began and how it will operate often do not exist.
[45] In Mother 1, Mr. Justice Myers referred to a list of 22 factors grouped into seven categories, from Maldowich v. Penttinen, (1980), 17 R.F.L. (2d) 376 (Ont. Dist. Ct.), that have frequently been cited in this and other courts for the purpose of determining whether a relationship was marriage-like, at para. 134 of Mother 1:
1. Shelter:
(a) Did the parties live under the same roof?
(b) What were the sleeping arrangements?
(c) Did anyone else occupy or share the available accommodation?
2. Sexual and Personal Behaviour:
(a) Did the parties have sexual relations? If not, why not?
(b) Did they maintain an attitude of fidelity to each other?
(c) What were their feelings toward each other?
(d) Did they communicate on a personal level?
(e) Did they eat their meals together?
(f) What, if anything, did they do to assist each other with problems or during illness?
(g) Did they buy gifts for each other on special occasions?
3. Services:
What was the conduct and habit of the parties in relation to:
(a) preparation of meals;
(b) washing and mending clothes;
(c) shopping;
(d) household maintenance; and
(e) any other domestic services?
4. Social:
(a) Did they participate together or separately in neighbourhood and community activities?
(b) What was the relationship and conduct of each of them toward members of their respective families and how did such families behave towards the parties?
5. Societal:
What was the attitude and conduct of the community toward each of them and as a couple?
6. Support (economic):
(a) What were the financial arrangements between the parties regarding the provision of or contribution toward the necessaries of life (food, clothing, shelter, recreation, etc.)?
(b) What were the arrangements concerning the acquisition and ownership of property?
(c) Was there any special financial arrangement between them which both agreed would be determinant of their overall relationship?
7. Children:
What was the attitude and conduct of the parties concerning children?
[46] In Austin v. Goerz, 2007 BCCA 586, the Court of Appeal cautioned against a “checklist approach”; rather, a court should "holistically" examine all the relevant factors. Cases like Molodowich provide helpful indicators of the sorts of behaviour that society associates with a marital relationship, the Court of Appeal said; however, “the presence or absence of any particular factor cannot be determinative of whether a relationship is marriage-like” (para. 58).
[47] In Weber v. Leclerc, 2015 BCCA 492, the Court of Appeal again affirmed that there is no checklist of characteristics that will be found in all marriages and then concluded with respect to evidence of intentions:
[23] The parties’ intentions – particularly the expectation that the relationship will be of lengthy, indeterminate duration – may be of importance in determining whether a relationship is “marriage-like”. While the court will consider the evidence expressly describing the parties’ intentions during the relationship, it will also test that evidence by considering whether the objective evidence is consonant with those intentions.
[24] The question of whether a relationship is “marriage-like” will also typically depend on more than just their intentions. Objective evidence of the parties’ lifestyle and interactions will also provide direct guidance on the question of whether the relationship was “marriage-like”.
[48] Significantly for this case, the courts have looked to mutual intent in order to find a marriage-like relationship. See, for example, L.E. v. D.J., 2011 BCSC 671 and Buell v. Unger, 2011 BCSC 35; Davey Estate v. Gruyaert, 2005 CarswellBC 3456 at 13 and 35.
[49] In Mother 1, Myers J. concluded his analysis of the law with the following learned comment:
[143] Having canvassed the law relating to the nature of a marriage-like relationship, I will digress to point out the problematic nature of the concept. It may be apparent from the above that determining whether a marriage-like relationship exists sometimes seems like sand running through one's fingers. Simply put, a marriage-like relationship is akin to a marriage without the formality of a marriage. But as the cases mentioned above have noted, people treat their marriages differently and have different conceptions of what marriage entails.
[50] In short, the determination of whether the parties in this case lived in a marriage-like relationship is a fact-specific inquiry that a trial judge would need to make on a “holistic” basis, having regard to all of the evidence. While the trial judge may consider the various factors listed in the authorities, those factors would not be treated as a checklist and no single factor or category of factors would be treated as being decisive.
E. Is There a Reasonable Claim of a Marriage-Like Relationship?
[51] In this case, many of the Molodowich factors are missing:
a) The parties never lived under the same roof. They never slept together. They were never in the same place at the same time during the relationship. The last time they saw each other in person was in November 2017, before the relationship began.
b) The parties never had consensual sex. They did not hug, kiss or hold hands. With the exception of the alleged sexual assault, they never touched one another physically.
c) The parties expressed care and affection for one another, but they rarely shared personal information or interest in their lives outside of their direct topic of communication. They did not write about their families, their friends, their religious beliefs or their work.
d) They expressed concern and support for one another when the other felt unwell or experienced health issues, but they did not provide any care or assistance during illness or other problems.
e) They did not assist one another with domestic chores.
f) They did not share their relationship with their peers or their community. There is no allegation, for example, that Mr. Dorje told his fellow monks or any of his followers about the relationship. There is no allegation that Ms. Han told her friends or any co-workers. Indeed, there is no allegation that anyone, with the exception of Ms. Han’s mother, knew about the relationship. Although Mr. Dorje gave Ms. Han’s mother a gift, he never met the mother and he never spoke to her.
g) They did not intend to have a child together. The child was conceived as a result of a sexual assault. While Mr. Dorje expressed interest in “meeting” the child, he never followed up. He currently has no relationship with the child. There is no allegation he has sought access or parenting arrangements.
[52] The only Molodowich factor of any real relevance in this case is economic support. Mr. Dorje provided the funds with which Ms. Han purchased a condominium. Mr. Dorje initially wrote that he wanted to buy a property with the money, but, he wrote, “It’s the same thing if you buy [it]”.
[53] Mr. Dorje also provided a significant amount of money for Ms. Han’s postpartum care and the child’s first year of life.
[54] This financial support may have been primarily for the benefit of the child. Even the condominium, Ms. Han wrote, was primarily for the benefit of the child.
[55] However, in my view, a trial judge may attach a broader significance to the financial support from Mr. Dorje than child support alone. A trial judge may find that the money Mr. Dorje provided to Ms. Han at her request was an expression of his commitment to her in circumstances in which he could not commit physically. The money and the gifts may be seen by the trial judge to have been a form of down payment by Mr. Dorje on a promise of continued emotional and financial support for Ms. Han, or, in Mr. Dorje’s own words, “Taking care of her and you are my duty for life” (emphasis added).
[56] On the other hand, I find it difficult to attach any particular significance to the fact that Mr. Dorje agreed to provide funds for Ms. Han to purchase a wedding ring. It appears to me that Ms. Han demanded that Mr. Dorje buy her a wedding ring, not that the ring had any mutual meaning to the parties as a marriage symbol. But it is relevant, in my view, that Mr. Dorje provided $20,000 USD to Ms. Han for something she wanted that was of no benefit to the child.
[57] Further, Ms. Han alleges that the parties intended to live together. At a minimum, a trial judge may find that the discussions about where Ms. Han and the child would live reflected a mutual intention of the parties to see one another and spend time together when they could.
[58] Mr. Dorje argues that an intention to live together at some point in the future is not sufficient to show that an existing relationship was marriage-like. He argues that the question of whether the relationship was marriage-like requires more than just intentions, citing Weber, supra.
[59] In my view, the documentary evidence referred to above provides some objective evidence in this case that the parties progressed beyond mere intentions. As stated, the parties appear to have expressed genuine care and affection for one another. They appear to have discussed marriage, trust, honesty, finances, mutual obligations and acquiring family property. These are not matters one would expect Mr. Dorje to discuss with a friend or a follower, or even with the mother of his child, without a marriage-like element of the relationship.
[60] A trial judge may find on the facts alleged by Ms. Han that the parties loved one another and would have lived together, but were unable to do so because of Mr. Dorje’s religious duties and nomadic lifestyle.
[61] The question I raised in the introduction to these reasons is whether a relationship that began on-line and never moved into the physical world can be marriage-like.
[62] Notably, the definition of a spouse in the Family Law Act does not require that the parties live together, only that they live with another person in a marriage-like relationship.
[63] In Connor Estate, 2017 BCSC 978, Mr. Justice Kent found that a couple that maintained two entirely separate households and never lived under the same roof formed a marriage-like relationship. (Connor Estate was decided under the intestacy provisions of the Wills, Estates and Succession Act, S.B.C. 2009, c. 13 ("WESA"), but courts have relied on cases decided under WESA and the FLA interchangeably for their definitions of a spouse.) Mr. Justice Kent found:
[50] The evidence is overwhelming and I find as a fact that Mr. Chambers and Ms. Connor loved and cared deeply about each other, and that they had a loving and intimate relationship for over 20 years that was far more than mere friendship or even so-called "friendship with benefits". I accept Mr. Chambers' evidence that he would have liked to share a home with Ms. Connor after the separation from his wife, but was unable to do so because of Ms. Connor's hoarding illness. The evidence amply supports, and I find as a fact, that Mr. Chambers and Ms. Connor loved each other, were faithful to each other, communicated with each other almost every day when they were not together, considered themselves to be (and presented themselves to be) "husband and wife" and were accepted by all who knew them as a couple.
[64] Connor Estate may be distinguishable from this case because Mr. Chambers and Ms. Connor were physically intimate for over 20 years, and presented themselves to the world as a married couple.
[65] Other decisions in which a marriage-like relationship has been found to exist despite the parties not living together have involved circumstances in which the couple lived under the same roof at previous points in the relationship, and the issue was whether they continued to be spouses after they took up separate residences: in Thompson v. Floyd, 2001 BCCA 78, the parties had lived together for a period of at least 11 years; in Roach v. Dutra, 2010 BCCA 264, the parties had lived together for approximately three years.
[66] However, as Mr. Justice Kent noted in Connor Estate:
[48] … [W]hile much guidance might be found in this case law, the simple fact is that no two cases are identical (and indeed they usually vary widely) and it is the assessment of evidence as a whole in this particular case which matters.
[67] Mr. Justice Kent concluded:
[53] Like human beings themselves, marriage-like relationships can come in many and various shapes. In this particular case, I have no doubt that such a relationship existed …
[68] As stated, Ms. Han’s claim is novel. It may even be weak. Almost all of the traditional factors are missing. The fact that Ms. Han and Mr. Dorje never lived under the same roof, never shared a bed and never even spent time together in person will militate against a finding they lived with one another in a marriage-like relationship. However, the traditional factors are not a mandatory check-list that confines the “elastic” concept of a marriage-like relationship. And if the COVID pandemic has taught us nothing else, it is that real relationships can form, blossom and end in virtual worlds.
[69] In my view, the merits of Ms. Han’s claim should be decided on the evidence. Subject to an overriding prejudice to Mr. Dorje, she should have leave to amend the notice of family claim. However, she should also provide meaningful particulars of the alleged marriage-like relationship.
F. Delay / Prejudice
[70] Ms. Han filed her notice of family claim on July 17, 2019. She brought this application to amend approximately one year and nine months after she filed the pleading, just over two months before the original trial date.
[71] Ms. Han’s delay was made all that more remarkable by her change in position from January 19, 2021, when she confirmed, through counsel, that she was not seeking spousal support in this case.
[72] Ms. Han gave notice of her intention to proceed with this application to Mr. Dorje on March 16, 2021. By the time the application was heard, the parties had conducted examinations for discovery without covering the issues that would arise from a claim of spousal support.
[73] Also, in April, Ms. Han produced additional documents, primarily text messages, that may be relevant to her claim of spousal support, but were undecipherable to counsel for Mr. Dorje, who does not read Mandarin.
[74] This application proceeded largely on documents selected and translated by counsel for Ms. Han. I was informed that Mandarin translations of the full materials would take 150 days.
[75] Understandably in the circumstances, Mr. Dorje argued that an amendment two months before trial would be neither just nor convenient. He argued that he would be prejudiced by an adjournment so as to allow Ms. Han to advance a late claim of spousal support.
[76] The circumstances changed on May 6, 2021, when Madam Justice Walkem adjourned the trial to July 2022 and reset it for 25 days. Madam Justice Walkem noted that most of the witnesses live internationally and require translators. She also noted that paternity may be in issue, and Mr. Dorje may amend his pleadings to raise that issue. It seems clear that, altogether apart from the potential spousal support claim, the parties were not ready to proceed to trial on June 7, 2021.
[77] In my view, any remaining prejudice to Mr. Dorje is outweighed by the importance of having all of the issues between the parties decided on their merits.
[78] Ms. Han’s delay and changes of position on spousal support may be a matter to de addressed in a future order of costs; but they are not grounds on which to deny her leave to amend the notice of family claim.
CONCLUSION
[79] Ms. Han is granted leave to amend her notice of family claim in the form attached as Appendix A to the notice of application to include a claim for spousal support.
[80] Within 21 days, or such other deadline as the parties may agree, Ms. Han must provide particulars of the marriage-like relationship alleged in the amended notice of family claim.
[81] Ms. Han is entitled to costs of this application in the cause of the spousal support claim.
“Master Elwood”
同時也有2部Youtube影片,追蹤數超過7萬的網紅sherrybyw,也在其Youtube影片中提到,I wanted to upload this travel vlog in case any of you guys plan to visit #Montreal! I've been filming snippets of my life in Montreal for the past fe...
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canada must visit places 在 趙德胤 Midi Z Facebook 的最讚貼文
#尋人啟事
#胡湘荷妳在哪裡
我的母親已八十歲,
疫情期間,
母親常在電話跟我聊一些過去的事情,
母親的記憶力非常好,
從她十歲開始到現在,
她幾乎能記得所有的事情。
當然,
她記的幾乎都是些令人心碎的事。
就像她的妹妹_
我的小阿姨,
跟她失聯了四十三年的事,
一直讓母親忘不了。
小阿姨屬猴,
64歲、
1956年出生。
大約1977年離開緬甸,
去到泰國投靠大舅,
又輾轉在1978年左右去了加拿大。
之後,
就失去了聯絡。
自從有網路以來,
我就幫忙母親在各種尋人版上刊登過尋人啟事,
但都沒有下文。
可能是刊登的資訊不齊全。
四十三年前,
小阿姨從緬甸到泰國又到加拿大,
可能證件、姓名等都跟原本的不一樣了。
近期,
與我母親通話,
母親又提到失聯的小阿姨。
她叮嚀我們是否能幫忙她再找找看。
母親今年八十歲,
她很想知道她的小妹,
是否還活在這世界上?
附上母親說的話,
她讓我公佈在網路上。
希望有緣,
我的小阿姨能看到。
Midi 於永和
2020 April 12
#胡湘荷
#尋人
胡湘荷,妳在哪裡?
阿湘,
我是妳的二姐胡明珠。
我們分別有好長一段時間了。
妳離開緬甸時,
我二兒子才剛出生,
都還不滿一個月,
妳來看他時,
還說:
「他的臉白白的,
是不是我給他擦粉?」
現在,
我二兒子四十三歲,
我呢,
已經快滿八十二歲,
八十多歲,
是老人了。
人家說,
人愈老記性愈差,
我是相反,
我的記性反倒是愈老愈好。
但是,我能記住的,
都是些傷心的事情。
也許,
我們這代人,
也沒有什麼快樂的事情可以記住。
就像妳的離開,
我們從此失去聯絡,
想起妳,
就讓我難過。
妳還活著嗎?
我想妳會活得好好的。
妳有幾個小娃了?
過得怎麼樣呢?
四十三年前,
妳離開腊戌時,
妳還在腊戌漢人學校唸書。
有天放學,
我去攔住妳,
跟妳說:
「妳以後每天下課後就來我家吃飯,
別去大姐家吃了…」
妳說:「好」。
妳也就跟著我到我家吃飯了。
我還記得,
妳才剛坐下,
我不知怎麼搞的,
就說了那些話。
我說:
「大姐讓妳以後來我這裡吃飯,
別去她家吃了,
讓妳三姐去她家吃,
妳三姐不挑嘴,
妳比較挑嘴…」。
這些話,
是大姐跟我說的,
我當時太懵,
太老實,
我也不曉得,
為什麼要說這些大姐講的話?
為什麼要講給妳聽?
我完全,
沒有擔待不了妳的意思呀。
不管多窮,
姐妹間互相照顧都是應該的,
我轉述大姐說妳的那些話,
是沒有任何理由的,
就是我以為是姐妹之間的聊天,
講出來而已。
我那時候過得很困難,
養著六個小娃,
病死了兩個。
但是,
照顧自己的妹妹是天經地義的。
那天,
我邊說就邊到廚房去炒菜,
難得妳來這裡吃飯,
總要多一樣什麼菜才行。
我炒完菜端著出來,
妳就不見了。
當時,
房東許老嬤嬤還在場,
她說,
「我轉進廚房,
妳就站起來走了…」
我那時才發覺;
我講錯話了。
妳這麼敏感的人呀!
我一路追著妳,
追到大水塘路上_
到妳跟妳三姐住的地方,
妳正在哭。
妳正在哭著跟妳三姐吵架,
妳跟妳三姐說:
「二哥寄來的錢分來…」
妳三姐不敢應妳,
在旁沉默著。
這筆妳要的錢,
確實是妳二哥寄來給妳們兩姐妹的生活費。
那時,
媽媽剛去世不久,
大哥人去了泰國;
在泰國北部滿堂安了家,
家裡所有的兄弟陸續去了泰國。
而爸爸因為沒身份證在貴概被移民局抓住,
送到仰光坐滿九年牢,
緬甸政府正打算著把他送到台灣去的時候…
那天,
我看著妳哭,
我就明白了妳的心情。
妳三姐在準備跟她愛人私奔,
在腊戌妳也只有大姐、我和妳三姐了。
我和大姐早結婚,
各自已有有家庭。
如今妳三姐又要嫁人,
大哥他們又遠在泰國,
母親去世,
父親坐牢。
妳接下來就要孤苦零丁的一個人生存了。
一個十八歲的女孩。
我知道妳的害怕和難過。
那天,
看著妳哭,
我很後悔把大姐說的話講出來。
妳應該了解我的。
我一直都盡力照顧我的家人,
當時從雲南背著妳逃難到緬甸邊境,
背了一天一夜。
我都是自願的。
妳記得嗎?
妳到腊戌讀書時,
很想要一條件仔褲,
那時許多人都買不起,
我還是費盡力氣買給妳。
妳知道我是心疼妳的。
妳離開腊戌的那天,
妳說妳要去泰國了。
臨走時,
我拿了300塊錢給妳,
妳知道嗎?
那時候我拿出300塊錢緬幣是到處借來的錢呀。
阿湘,
我知道妳一直都在受苦,
去到泰國,
大嫂可能待不得妳,
妳二哥、三哥他們當時也沒能力照顧妳,
妳在泰國又沒有合法的身份;
哪可能有其它去處。
最後妳選擇結婚,
我想也只是為了解脫這些難過的生活罷了。
之後,
就聽說妳嫁了人,
跟著丈夫家去了加拿大。
之後,
我就再也就打聽不到妳的下落了。
我們最後的連繫,
停留在泰國北部滿堂,
或是停留在泰緬邊境美賽,
我都有些記不得了。
那時,
聽說妳從大哥家跑出來了?
又聽說妳去暫住在一對老年夫妻的家裡?
這些,
都是後來傳到腊戌的消息了。
妳去加拿大前,
還寄來給我和大姐和妳三姐每個人一件衣裳布、
一條籠基。
三份禮物裡夾著三張白紙,
寫著:「大姐的、二姐的、三姐的…」。
我還記得,
那是託「義號佛堂」楊前人帶來的禮物。
那條籠基到現在我還留著_
孔雀花紋的。
阿湘,
我這個作二姐的也羞愧妳了。
當時,
聽到這些關於妳的困難的消息,
只能每天想念著,
想到傷心,
我沒有任何能力。
那時,
我是,
連從緬甸腊戌到泰國邊境的車票都買不起呀。
當時我養著這麼多小娃,
吃一口飯都難。
阿湘,
現在講這些都只是回憶了,
都是我們老人家的回憶,
都不重要了。
那為什麼還要講這些呢?
就是,
為了,
想讓妳看到,
看到這些我說的話,
證實,
我是妳的二姐而已。
想讓妳知道,
我一直在找妳。
我活到八十歲,
夠了,
人活這麼老沒什麼意思,
都盡是傷心的事情。
我不知哪天會死去。
但如果可能的話,
在死去之前,
能讓我知道一下妳的消息。
我想知道,
妳在哪裡?
我想知道,
妳還活著嗎?
阿湘,
爸爸十幾年前已經去世,
大哥六年前去世,
連大姐,
前年也不在世上了。
妳二哥;
他住在泰國山邊荒地裡,
幫人家看田地,
過得不是很好,
但也不用擔心,
我在泰國的二兒子和大姑娘時常會去照顧他。
妳三哥,
講到也是讓我難過呀。
他大前年腦出血,
去醫院醫好了,
但醫好後,
很奇怪,
突然忘記了漢人話,
只會講泰國話。
後來不久,
他就偷偷上吊自殺了。
你說,
我們兄弟姐妹這是什麼樣的命運呢?
阿湘,
我們家沒剩下什麼人了,
妳三姐、妳四哥還在泰國。
還有我,
我還活著。
我還在緬甸,在腊戌。
除了妳,
我們一家人也就剩下這三個人了。
阿湘,
我們已經分別已四十三年,
妳也有六十多歲了吧?
我很想知道,
妳在哪裡?
妳還活著嗎?
如果有緣,
妳看到這信,
就回我一下吧。
妳的二姐胡明珠,
日日夜夜,
在等妳的消息。
二姐胡明珠 於緬甸腊戌
2020 年4月11日
姪Midi代筆
找人信箱:humingju1638@gmail.com
**************
#notice for a missing person
translated by Jane Lin
****************
Where are you, Hu Shine-Ho?
Ah-Shine,
This is your 2nd sister, Hu Ming-Ju. It has been a long time since we last saw each other. When you left Burma, my 2nd son was not even one-month-old. You asked why he was so fair-skinned? Had I put powder on his face? Now, he is 43 and I am almost 82.
Eighty something...I am indeed an old woman! People say that you lose your memory as you age. I am quite the opposite. The older I get, the better I remember! But, what I remember is nothing but sadness. Perhaps, our generation just doesn't have much happiness. Like you leaving home, we losing contact forever…. The thought of you puts me in such despair. Are you still alive? I imagine you living a good life?!! How many children? How are you?
Forty-three years ago, you were still a student at Chinese High School in Lashio. One day after school, I went to intercept you, "From now on, come to my home after school. Don't go to 1st sister's for dinner anymore." You said, "OK" and followed me home.
I still remember clearly that you had just sat down and I said, "The first sister asks that you come to me for dinner. She will take 3rd sister who's easy-going, not like you, a picky eater." I don't know what possessed me that day? Why I had to tell you what 1st sister had to say? Was I too naive? Too honest? Too stupid? I had absolutely no intension not to take care of you - we are sisters!!!! We have to care for each other, no matter how poor we are!!! The first sister's words just came out as a casual chat between sisters. Nothing more!
Life was tough for me at the time. Diseases took away two of my six children. But that didn't mean I would ignore my God-given responsibility as your elder sister. Without realizing the impact of my "casual chat", I went into the kitchen wondering what additional dish I could come up with for your first dinner with us. When I came out with the dishes, you were already gone! According to our landlady, Granny Hsu, you just got up and left as soon as I was out of sight. Only then did I realize my stupid mistake and how sensitive you were! Immediately, I ran after you, all the way to Big Pond Road where you and 3rd sister stayed. You were crying, asking 3rd sister for the money that 2nd brother sent. 3rd sister just kept quiet.
Indeed! The money that you demanded from 3rd sister was to cover living expenses for both of you. At that time, Mother had already passed away. The first brother went to Thailand, had already settled his own family in Pong Ngam. All the brothers followed suit. Father got caught in Kutkai by the immigration for not having an I.D. and had been in prison in Rangoon for 9 years. The Burmese government was just about to send him to Taiwan…. That day, while watching you cry, I understood how you felt. The third sister was getting ready to run away with her lover and both 1st sister and I were married young with our own families to deal with. As an 18-year-old with no mother, a father in prison, you must have felt all alone, sad and very scared.
I was filled with regrets watching you that day. But, please understand that I have always tried my best to take care of my family. When we escaped from Yunnan to Burma as refugees, I carried you on my back all day and all night without any complaints. When you went to Lashio for school, you wanted a pair of jeans so badly, remember? It was such a luxury that most people could not afford. Yet, I gathered all my might to get you a pair. You know I always have a soft spot for you, don't you? The day you were leaving Lashio for Thailand, do you know how many places I had to try to gather 300 Burmese kyats for you???
Ah-Shine, I know it was a huge struggle for you in Thailand. It's impossible that 1st sister-in-law would put you up. Second and 3rd brothers were in no position to help you….. I suppose you were pushed into marriage, just to end this desperate situation. Last I heard, you moved to Canada with your husband. From that point onward, in spite of all the efforts, I just couldn't find any trace of your whereabouts.
Our last contact stopped at Pong Ngam, Thailand. Or, was it MaeSai? I can't quite remember now. The news came to Lashio that you had run away from 1st brother's home. Later, you were temporarily staying with an older couple….
Before leaving for Canada, you sent, via Abbott Yang of the Yi Buddhist Hall, a package for us - each gift had a piece of dress fabric and a longyi, clearly labeled on a piece of white paper: "for 1st sister," "for 2nd sister," "for 3rd sister." I still have that longyi, with a peacock pattern, after all these years!
Ah-Shine, I feel deeply embarrassed to be your elder sister. Upon hearing the challenges that you had to face at the time, I could do nothing but worrying and feeling sad. I couldn't even afford the bus fare from Lashio to the Thai border. I barely managed to feed my own children!
Ah-Shine, What's the use of talking about these old memories? These sad memories of us old people have no importance but to serve to show you that I am indeed your 2nd sister.… that I have been looking for you all these years.
To live in my eighties is more than enough for me. It's not much fun to live this long - just a lifetime of sadness. I have no idea when I will die and I don't really care. I just wish that I could hear from/about you before I leave this world. I want to know where you are. I want to know if you are still alive.
Ah-Shine, Father passed away more than a decade ago. The first brother left us 6 years ago, so did the first sister 3 years ago. The second brother works as a field caretaker in a remote Thai mountainside. It's not a good life, but both my 2nd son and first daughter are also in Thailand; can visit and take care of him often. The saddest is our 3rd brother. He had a stroke 3 years ago. After recovery, he suddenly forgot his Chinese, could only speak in Thai. Not long after, he hanged himself! Please tell me what kind of fate has been bestowed on our siblings??? What is the meaning of life???
Ah-Shine, There aren't that many of us left, only 3rd sister and 4th brother in Thailand and me still in Burma. In Lashio.
Ah-Shine, We have been apart for 43 years. You should be in your 60s by now. I really would like to know if you are still alive and where you live. God willing, you will see this letter and reply!!! (humingju1638@gmail.com)
Waiting to hear from you, day and night!
Second sister, Hu Ming-Ju
Lashio, Myanmar
April 11. 2020
canada must visit places 在 sherrybyw Youtube 的最讚貼文
I wanted to upload this travel vlog in case any of you guys plan to visit #Montreal! I've been filming snippets of my life in Montreal for the past few months and the best way for me to do this vlog is by doing a farewell montage ?Whether you're a coffee shop hopper or love doing active things, I've got you covered!
[ MENTIONED PLACES IN MONTREAL]
Old Port
Crew Collective & Cafe | 360 St Jacques St
Tommy Cafe | 200 Notre-Dame St W
Café Leaves | 2051 Mountain St
200 Notre-Dame St W | 110 Notre-Dame St W
Ginkgo Café & Bar | 308 Sainte Catherine E
St-Viateur Bagel | 263 Rue Saint Viateur O
Fairmount Bagel | 74 Avenue Fairmount O
Sainte Catherine Street
Peel Station
Guy-Concordia Station
Wienstein & Gavino's | 1434 Crescent St
Paris Crêpe | 1333 Saint-Catherine St W
Amusement 2000 Plus | 1381 Saint-Catherine St W
21 Balançoires/21 Swings | Places Des Arts Station, intersection of Maisonneuve Blvd. and Jeanne-Mance St.
[PLACES NOT MENTIONED BUT I STILL LOVE!!!]
Ganadara (Korean Restaurant, you MUST try their seafood ramyun and their spicy tuna kimbap) | 1862 Maisonneuve Blvd W
Le Passé Composé (Brunch spot, I love their French toast!!) | 1310 Boul de Maisonneuve E
Café Nomade (very minimalistic, aesthetic cafe) | 175 Ontario St E
Hvmans Cafe (great spot for studying, outlets and wifi available, conveniently in DT Montreal) | 1455 Saint-Catherine St W
[MUSICIANS]
Côme de Bethmann | https://www.instagram.com/comedb
Augustin Schmidt
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10分鐘去學的眼鏡化妝!! Glasses Makeup: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D92l5gnyzlY
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Canon EOS 70D
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Canon EF-S 24mm f/2.8
Canon EF 50mm f/1.8
Canon
Sony NEX-5R
Minolta 35, 50, and 85mm
Iphone 7+
canada must visit places 在 sherrybyw Youtube 的最讚貼文
[FEATURED PLACES]
Butter Avenue | 3467 Yonge St, North York, ON M4N 2N3
Toronto Eaton Centre
N15 Japanese Hair Salon* | http://www.n15salon.com (831 Bay Street, Toronto) For 20% your first visit, show them my Youtube channel (or any of my social media) ^^
For any of you planning to get a hair treatment or have your hair coloured, cut, permed...etc., I would recommend you guys to check out this new Japanese hair salon in downtown Toronto! The staff members are super nice, the location is beautiful (super instagram-worthy I must say), and their prices are more affordable relative to other high-end salons in Toronto.
[MUSIC]
OST from Secret Garden (those kdrama feelz tho) https://youtu.be/C-J66cH47ig
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canada must visit places 在 Top 10 Destinations You Must Visit In Canada - Pinterest 的推薦與評價
Sep 6, 2013 - Canada shares the longest land border with its neighbor, the United States and it's an amazing place for a number of reasons. ... <看更多>
canada must visit places 在 10 Best Places to Visit in Canada - Travel Video - YouTube 的推薦與評價
Check out all the places seen in this video: https://www.touropia.com/ best - places-to - visit -in- canada /Awe-inspiring scenery, vibrant cities ... ... <看更多>